It is currently Oct 16, 2018 6:58 pm 






Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic 

  Print view

Online 
 Post subject: Word play...
Post Posted: May 3, 2018 10:40 am 
Stratospheric Poster!
Stratospheric Poster!
User avatar
Joined: Apr 6, 2006 10:13 pm
Posts: 5355
"Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

1. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

2. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

3. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

4. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

5. Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

6. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

7. When chemists die, they barium.

8. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

9. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

10. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
11. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
12. This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore
13. I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

14. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

15. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

16. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

17. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail

18. A will is a dead giveaway.

19. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
20. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
21. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

22. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
23. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
24. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
26. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

27. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

_________________
Life is TOO SHORT to drink CHEAP BEER!




Image


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Offline 
 Post subject: Re: Word play...
Post Posted: May 3, 2018 1:53 pm 
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
User avatar
Joined: May 3, 2002 7:41 am
Posts: 17230
Location: Pine CO at Shaffers Crossing at 8,200 feet
These are great, I wish I had the wit to come up with stuff like this. My husband does and he can really get me to laughing.


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Offline 
 Post subject: Re: Word play...
Post Posted: May 3, 2018 2:06 pm 
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
User avatar
Joined: May 10, 2005 11:31 am
Posts: 48277
Location: Pueblo
Share with us TillerBee! These are so fun.

_________________
Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden. ~~~ ANONYMOUS


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Offline 
 Post subject: Re: Word play...
Post Posted: May 3, 2018 2:39 pm 
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
User avatar
Joined: May 3, 2002 7:41 am
Posts: 17230
Location: Pine CO at Shaffers Crossing at 8,200 feet
I would if I could remember them - I can't remember a joke to save my life. Well, here's one:

Whenever we see a JeffCo deputy, he says "There's Omar". Get it???

(think about the movie Dr. Zhivago)

Not quite the same as the word plays above but still cleverer than I would ever be.


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Offline 
 Post subject: Re: Word play...
Post Posted: May 3, 2018 4:18 pm 
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
Pinecam Hall of Fame poster!
User avatar
Joined: May 10, 2005 11:31 am
Posts: 48277
Location: Pueblo
LOL - that's a good one!

_________________
Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden. ~~~ ANONYMOUS


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Offline 
 Post subject: Re: Word play...
Post Posted: May 3, 2018 9:30 pm 
Stratospheric Poster!
Stratospheric Poster!
User avatar
Joined: Jul 19, 2010 9:05 am
Posts: 7802
Location: Austin, Tx
These are GREAT! :animated laughing: :applause: Gonna pass them on to a pun-loving friend in Australia. :hugegrin:

_________________
https://curiousdachshund.com/


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Offline 
 Post subject: Re: Word play...
Post Posted: Jul 14, 2018 9:12 am 
Oh my, Big Time poster!
Oh my, Big Time poster!
User avatar
Joined: Jul 1, 2006 10:21 am
Posts: 3432
Location: Shaffer's (8,234 - 8,279)
Very clever and fun! TY for sharing!

_________________
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls." - Jesus


Top
  Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:

Who is online

In total there are 35 users online :: 0 registered, 1 hidden and 34 guests (based on users active over the past 60 minutes)
Most users ever online was 2823 on Mar 26, 2012 7:26 pm

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 34 guests





Powered by phpBB © 2000-2012 phpBB Group

This website copyright © 1994-2018 by
Pinecam.com is a member of the Platte Canyon Area Chamber of Commerce